I'll Be - The Goo Goo Dolls

The person who this song is for knows who they are.

I'll Be

The strands in your eyes
That color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains
Thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows
Of heartache that hang from above
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival
You're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows
Of heartache that hang from above
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
I've dropped out
Burned up
Fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in
Turned on
Remembered the things you said
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when
I'm olderI'll be the greatest fan of you life

Sleep is good.

And its not until you haven't had any that you realise just how good it actually is. I must stop going out on school nights. Went out for dinner last night with Harn and then partied with her & Chris till all hours. Very very very fun but I am paying for it in a big way today. 22 days and I am off work for 4 weeks and I will be able to sleep all I want! Wahooooo

It's been a while...

Since I posted anything on this blog. I have so much to say, but so few words to explain it all. First off - Bronte want to put me into hospital. According to them I am "grossly underweight" and keep going down every week. My dietician was calling my shrink yesterday to see if he will section me. I don't believe I need to go. I don't want to go. But if going into the Austin Hospital for a month or more is going to make me better, then maybe I do need to go. I feel like I can't tell anyone what is going on. I can't tell my friends because they are all like "JUST EAT" - if it was that easy, do you really believe I would be in this situation right now. A good friend who I went to school with has just moved here from Sydney, and she is really good with the whole thing. She has pretty much said if I want to be friends with her, then she is not putting up with this shit, and I need to deal with it and tackle all my issues. Because I have known her since we were 12, it's like she has a right to say to me what everyone else wants to say. The only difference is, is that I actually listen to her.

Another one bites the dust

Do you ever get the feeling that there is something so inherantly wrong with you, that you have a sign on your head saying "treat me like shit, I am used to it"
Things went pear shaped with Chris. He couldn't even give me a reason as to why he thought "it would be more grief than pleasure"
This makes me feel like absolute shit. Why can't I just meet a nice guy who actually likes me for who I am. What am I doing wrong?
I just can't even stand the sight of myself at the moment.

Anas Song

Please die Ana
For as long as you're here we're not
You make the sound of laughter
and sharpened nails seem softer
And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you
Imagine pageant
In my head the flesh seems thicker
Sandpaper tears corrode the film
And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you
And you're my obsession
I love you to the bones
And Ana wrecks your life
Like an Anorexia life
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you
Open fire on the needs designed
Open fire on my knees desires
On my knees for you

For Kathryn....(NOT a love song dedication to you)

I know how much importance we place on song lyrics. I thought these were quite nice. I hope you can make sense of them! If you don't understand its about what we were talking about this afternoon on msn....you will know the right one in your heart.

Maybe I'm Amazed - Jem


Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Love Me All The Time
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Love You
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Pulled Me Out Of Time
And Hung Me On A Line
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You
Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe I'm A Lonely Girl
Who's In The Middle Of Something
That She Doesn't Really Understand
Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe You're The Only Man
Who Could Ever Help Me
Baby Won't You Help Me Understand
Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe I'm A Lonely Girl
Who's In The Middle Of Something
That She Doesn't Really Understand
Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe You're The Only Man
Who Could Ever Have Me
Baby Won't You Help Me Understand
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You're With Me All The Time
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I leave You
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Help Me Sing My Song
Right Me When I'm Wrong
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You
Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe I'm A Lonely Girl
Who's In The Middle Of Something
That She Doesn't Really Understand
Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe You're The Only Man
Who Could Ever Help Me
Baby Won't You Help Me Understand

Whoopsidaisies

Ok, so Chris is Swedish, not American.
How the fuck did I mix that one up? At least he can laugh about it.